No Earthly Good…A Little Preaching by Mr. Johnny Cash

Yesterday at our church we began a six-week sermon series titled “The Hole in Our Gospel”.  It is based on the book written by Richard Stearns, CEO of World Vision.  This sermon series is definitely not for the faint of heart.  It is heart-wrenching and it was only the first Sunday.  It also has a small group component to it.  My husband and I, along with another couple, are leading one of these groups.  Simply because I want to be a good leader, I will be thorough about my participation.  Full participation includes hearing the Sunday sermons, reading the book, attending the small group meetings where we watch a short DVD and discuss what we’ve seen and last but definitely not least, utilizing the Personal Action Journal.  This journal is most definitely designed to convict followers of Christ and get us to really find the answer to the question, “What does God expect of me?”.

Let me back up a minute to the title of this post.  In the first few pages of the book, Richard Stearns makes reference to the Johnny Cash song “No Earthly Good”.  The lyrics of this song are powerful.  They are so powerful, in fact, that they were part of our Sunday morning worship set.  As our worship leader pointed out, Johnny Cash could really preach through his music (this coming from someone who is most definitely not a fan of country music).  The gist of the song is that we, as Christians, can be so set on our paths to heaven that we don’t pay attention to what God put us here to do in the first place and what Jesus did his entire time on this earth.  This leads me to the conviction that I’ve been facing.  What does God expect of me?  I know that the short answer to that is “much more than what I’m doing now”.  As I begin this series of blog posts, yep it’s going to be a series, I want to make one thing very clear.  I DO NOT believe that we get to heaven through good works.  “I’m basically a good person” just does not cut it.  I DO believe that we are saved by grace through faith in God’s Son Jesus Christ.  I DO also believe that once we’ve received that saving grace that God requires us to do something with our transformed lives, not go back to status quo – committing the same sins that we committed prior to receiving His salvation and banking on the fact that we will receive His forgiveness.

Day One: The question that struck me was, “Have I shrunk Jesus down to the size where He can save our soul but now don’t believe He can change the world?” (Anonymous).  My first response was NO!  I believe in the full power of God.  However, that is definitely not how I act or even think.  For years now, I have kind of given up hope that unsaved people in my life, for whom I care very deeply, will ever be saved and be followers of Jesus Christ.  Really?  Does that mean somehow I am judging them and considering their sin worse than mine or that their life experiences have somehow been more difficult?  No, I can honestly say that I don’t judge them.  Yes, I do think that some of them have definitely had more difficult life experiences.  But somehow I’ve calculated that to mean that those pains are too great for God to overcome.  I’ve prayed for forgiveness from that and most definitely am praying for their salvation.

Day Two: Today is actually day two.  Today’s lesson is about the lack of drinking water throughout the world.  This broke my heart.  One of the statistics that was shared is that every 21 seconds, someone dies due to a water related disease.  So, to make my point to our seven-year-old, we counted slowly to 21 a couple of times.  These people that are dying haven’t done anything wrong.  They simply live in places where they either do not have water and are dying from dehydration or are drinking water filled with poisons.  In the past, I’ve had to force myself to drink enough water because I would have rather had a Diet Coke or a cup of coffee.  I run my water for a few seconds just to get it to the right temperature, watching it wastefully flow down the drain.  I’ve recently seen the look of desperation on my younger brother’s face as he begged me for just a sip which I couldn’t give him because he was in pre-surgery-limbo.  That was only after a few hours of not having water and while he was still on IV fluids which were keeping his body hydrated.  I can not even begin to imagine the truly feeling of thirst and dehydration.

As I go through this journey, if you choose to read my blog, I pray that you will be convicted by it also.  I know that not everyone believes how I believe.  But followers of Jesus Christ or not, we are all very blessed and live in the land of excess.  Do not apologize or even feel guilty about what you’ve been given.  They are gifts from God.  I pray that you will just do something with them to help “the least of these”.

Merry Christmas

I finally feel like I’m ready for Christmas. Although, I told my husband that I just am not feeling it this year. I know that most of the people that read this poor neglected blog know about the situation with my brother Nick. If not, you can read about him here: www.caringbridge.org/visit/nickgraham. Because of that, it’s been difficult to get into the Christmas spirit for sure!

However, I finished my shopping. Thankfully we had decorated the house before the accident or I’m certain that wouldn’t have gotten done. Tomorrow, after Nick’s plastic surgery (definitely isn’t getting a nose job), our family will be heading to ND for a few days. I’m so torn about leaving. But Nick won’t be alone. We have other family that is coming here to spend Christmas with him.

There have been many things over the past year that have been good reminders about why it is absolutely necessary to NOT take things for granted. And over the past few weeks, I’ve been reminded about the generosity of friends. Nick and Chalsie (Nick’s girlfriend) have had people offer unbelievable help to them. And I’ve also received an incredible amount of help from my friends…meals, babysitting and prayers. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! I can’t even tell you how much stress it has relieved to know that there is a hot meal for my family at night.

So, for as much as I haven’t wanted to celebrate Christmas, I think that is exactly what has been happening here over the past almost three weeks…showing the love of Christ to people who need to feel it. It certainly isn’t about those decorations that I mentioned or the poorly wrapped presents under the tree. It is about a baby boy who came to show us what the love of God looks like in human form and bring salvation for all of those who will accept it.

Merry Christmas my friends!

Sydney–Sassy and Stylish

That pretty much sums up my teenager!  I should actually add sweet but she wanted that title.  I don’t know when she started caring about things like clothes (Lucky Brand Jeans), hair (flat-ironed 99% of the time), makeup (Mary Kay of course!)…  But it has happened full force!  She is doing a great job with all three.  Since my business has a great deal to do with color cosmetics, I’m very particular about makeup application.  Sydney has the eyeliner under control (which I think is a problem amongst a majority of teenage girls).  Here is a photo of my little beauty:

Ok…she’s not so little anymore.  As a matter of fact, she is almost my height.  I do get a little sad about it but I’m comforted by the fact that she is really growing into a beautiful young woman.  It’s time for mom to start minding my own business apparently.  A friend of mine wanted to introduce Sydney to her son.  So, today we did.  Later she asked me, “Mom, do you know how embarrassing you are?”.  The answer to that question is, “I do now!”

I love you sweet girl!

A Golden Birthday, Lucky Number 7

This post is a little late in coming.  Our baby girl turned 7 on November 7th!  I can hardly believe it to be honest with you.  She has blessed us beyond our wild imagination.  She challenges us.  She loves us.  She even encourages us.  In her short seven years, she has learned to pray with her heart and has such a LOVE for Jesus.  It’s not something I can even explain.

I can not possibly put into words how I feel about this child.  Nor can I explain the antics that we live through each day.  She is mischievious and those little acts of curiosity can make your angry and want to laugh hysterically at exactly the same time.  Here is just a small taste…  After she showered on Sunday, she told me that she forgot something in the bathroom.  She went back to “get it” and I found her drying blood from her knee.  I asked her what happened and she said she didn’t know.  Jokingly, I asked, “You didn’t try shaving, did you?”  She looked at me without a smile on her face, ready to cry.  Holy smokes!  She really did try shaving on her 7th birthday!  We cleaned her up and applied two band-aids (she got herself good).  Then we had a little heart-to-heart about why it is not a good idea for a seven-year-old to shave.  She promised that she will not try again until Mommy gives her permission.  Oh that girl… 

Here are just a couple of photos from our day at the beach during our recent vacation to Florida (which I haven’t blogged about either – yikes!):

I’m pretty sure she thinks she is a supermodel!  There is no lack of self-esteem for this girl.

This is her silly, “I’m like my daddy” side.

London, our precious little girl, we love you bunches!  We love to listen to you sing, read, study the Bible and pray.  You teach us how to be better parents and better people in general.  You have changed us forever!  You are truly a child of God and we are blessed to be your earthly parents.

Fun at the Farm

How did I not know about Holz Farm?  We’ve lived in Eagan for almost eight years and never knew this place existed.  I am from a ranching community in North Dakota.  For me, this was like a little slice of home.  I miss it a lot.  I miss the quiet.  I miss being able to go to the rodeo grounds to gather my thoughts and maybe right a song or two.

Here are just a couple of photos that I took during our quick visit:

These two are so much alike it isn’t even funny!  One of the things that I love about my husband is how goofy he can be.  He will do almost anything to make someone laugh.  We now have a version of that in a miniature form.

I look forward to spend quiet afternoons here…picking flowers, reading a book…  Alright, maybe not that many quiet afternoons!  But I will definitely be back, my home away from home.

PS – In case you haven’t heard…I have a new business.  There will be more photos posted soon for Harper-Anderson Photography.

Another Blended Story

Many times when I share how my ex-husband and I co-parent our daughter, along with our spouses, people are impressed.  I appreciate every kind word and feel the need to share with you how this is possible.  What I’m about to share is a glimpse into my own childhood.  While some of the memories may be a little painful, I want to clarify that I mean no disrespect to my own parents or my upbringing.  If it weren’t for some of the things that I experienced as a child, I doubt that we would be able to parent our daughter as well as we do.  So, here is how it begins…

My parents separated when I was six and had divorced by the time I turned seven, which would have made my brother only four.  I don’t remember them being married.  As a matter of fact, I have not one family memory except for what has been told to me through photos.  The positive side to that is that I also don’t remember their divorce.  I haven’t completely forgotten my early years.  I can vividly recall things from school and playdates with friends, just not my family.

After their divorce, they had a tough decision to make.  The decision was to have my brother and I go to Texas with my father for about four months.  You see, my father is a beekeeper.  It is a real career, not just a hobby that you see on television.  Someone has to farm all that honey that goes into those little bears.  It is a career that requires hard work, long hours, so many stings that after a while, you no longer feel the pain and it is also a career that has provided for our family for almost 40 years.  Since bees can’t live in the frozen tundra of a North Dakota winter, you have to go someplace warmer.  For us, that was Sour Lake, TX.

Looking back, I don’t know how my father did it.  He had two children – one in second grade and the other in preschool.  He burned both ends of daylight.  He worked hard and had a hot meal on the table every night for us.  He did have help from one of the women who lived in our little village…I don’t really know what to call it.  And he had a 7-year-old daughter who was expected to help out with her little brother, as it should be.  I only wish I had been nicer to that little guy. 

Can you imagine how exhausted he must have been?  It’s only been in the past few years that I’ve begun to realize that and appreciate all of the sacrifices that he made for us.  I’ve teased him for years because I was the only little girl not in a white dress at my First Communion.  I wore a pretty peach flower girl dress that I had used not even a year earlier in the wedding.  Maybe that was all we could afford.  I don’t know and I will never ask.  I do know that he did the very best he could and we always had what we needed.

Second grade was the first year that we had to switch schools in the middle of the year.  Unfortunately, it was the first of many.  In third grade, we spent the first half of the year with my dad and the second half, after winter break, with my mother.  Since they didn’t live in the same town, that meant switching schools.  My guess is that court was the summer after the third grade, although I don’t know this for a fact.

By the end of the third grade, my dad had married my step-mom and my mother was with, who would eventually become, my step-father.  Also by the end of my third grade year, they must have been in a heated custody battle.  That I remember relatively clearly.

In July of that year, my brother and I sat on the lawn of the court house for an entire day.  We were not allowed to leave the property, judges orders.  It was hot!  My aunt and my cousin spent the day with us.  I’m sure we must have played games, had a picnic and generally just made the best of it.  At the end of the day, the judge wanted to know where we wanted to live.  Do you really think it’s possible for an 8-year-old and a 5-year-old to decide what is best for them?  It didn’t matter.  He did “grant us our wishes” anyway.  He ruled that my parents would have split custody, six month with each parent.  Do you know what that meant for us?  It meant that we had to switch schools once every year.  We would begin our school years with our father and end it with our mother.  Where were the child advocates on that one?

During the next few years, we had our scheduled phone time and visitation.  We also had concerts and other extra-curricular activities at which we were not encouraged to speak to the non-custodial parent.  We also had separate celebrations, such as birthday parties.

Going into high school, my brother and I made very difficult decisions.  While I was choosing to live fulltime with my dad and step-mom, he chose to stay with my mother, my step-dad and my baby brother.  This came with it’s own set of challenges of which the details will not be shared.  I do want to give a public thank you to my step-mom who gave up four months with her husband each year so that I could stay in the school of my choice.  Never have I felt like her step-child.  Never have I felt that she has loved me any less than one loves a biological child, which is still evident now that she has a biological child…my beautiful baby sister.

We had struggles through this very turbulent path.  I will never share all of the details.  Some things are meant to stay private.  But because I can look back and see how my parents not wanting to communicate with each other left an enormous opening for my brother and I to play manipulation games, I will not let my relationship with my ex-husband be that way.  And, I’m publicly sorry for every time that I played my parents against one another.

Now for a few thank you’s…  I’m thankful for the marriage example of my father and my step-mother.  They taught me how to be a united front and argue behind closed doors.  They were really good at it too…I never heard a raised voice.  But c’mon, they are human.  There had to be arguments.  Thank you to my beloved step-father, may you rest in peace dear man.  He worked so hard for so many years at a very non-glamorous job to provide for my mother and our family.  Thank you to my mother for also doing the best that she could.  Thank you to my parents for not giving up on me during some very selfish years of my life.  I would be not be the person that I am today if it were not for you.

Another time, I will share with you some of the many wonderful attributes of my parents…  This is all for now.

Letting Go…Just a Little

Some of you may have seen this photo that I took last year:

It was the first time that I had ever allowed London to ride the school bus.  It was only to school, not from.  And she only did it a few times.  I saw how the other kids behaved at the bus stop and was less than thrilled to say the least. 

However, this year, we decided that both of the girls would be taking the bus to and from school.  I was spending about an hour a day in just drive time.  To be honest, London was thrilled.  She LOVES the school bus.  The kids aren’t any different at the bus stop.  But she seems oblivious to that.  She is just happy to get into her seat, blow me a kiss and give me a little sign language “I love you” (I better take those while I can get them).

I still get a little sad when I see that bus drive away.  I would just love to keep my girls at home with me!  But I know that London is really loving school AND the bus.  So, I will just walk her to the stop in the morning and let her run home in the afternoon.  My presence is no longer necessary at the afternoon bus stop…more like there was a request for me to wait in the driveway for her to come home, which I cried a little at her independence agreed to since I can still her.

On an unrelated topic, a special thanks to Tonya from Chevy Smith Photography for introducing me to Windows Live Writer!